Elmer's to the Rescue

I work with an idiot who after almost 20 years of doing the same job every day still doesn't get it right. His job is running a machine that glues printed forms together. He is usually too busy paying attention to what everyone else is doing and misses when his machine messes up. When the mistake is finally noticed he has to pull the forms apart and hand glue them back together in the correct order. As a result of this I decided to change the label on his glue bottle to read "oops I f****d up again".  After I finished I showed it to all my other co-workers including the bosses, they loved it. The new label has been on there now for over a month and although he has used it several times he still hasn't noticed it. Idiot. -JN Aldan, Pennsylvania

In the Barracks

Back when I was in the military we had a guy in our platoon that started stealing from us. This went on unbeknownst to us for over three weeks. After we realized what had taken place, unfortunately he tried to end his life. He guzzled a bottle of Windex glass cleaner. When he announced to us what we he had done we immediately called the medics. After a few minutes behind closed doors the medics came out of the closed room with smiles on their faces. We asked, “What was so amusing?” and they replied that the glass cleaner was vinegar based and that they sat him down on the toilet and told him not to move for 24 hours. After his colon cleansing he was convicted and sent to prison – Sgt L, 1IDF

Now accepting entries for the worst coworker!

We are now on the hunt for the 'Best of the Worst Coworker". Who drives you crazy at work with their annoying habits, lack of skills and general brown-nosing. Let us know and feel free to submit a small photo so we can share with the world.

Send your entries to contributions@hatemycoworker.com